Tips to Limit the Damage at WI

This time of year can be a nightmare for WW. We have had Valentines Day, Mothers Day, Paddys Day, Easter, bank holidays, Fathers Day all in the space of a few weeks. Not to mention it is Communion and Confirmation season as well. Before we know it we are into Summer and for the lucky people, this means holidays. Who knows what the weather will be like but even if the slightest ray breaks through the clouds that will mean BBQs and beer gardens.
What does all this mean for WW? It can mean gaining a stone if we are not careful. Some people will say you cannot let WW rule your life. On the other hand, I remember seeing this phrase at a meeting once, 'you must give up the life you have to get the life you want'. These are at different ends of the advice spectrum but I believe that it is about finding a balance somewhere in the middle.
So you have had a bad weekend and your WI is coming up either on Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday. Here is what not to do. DO NOT SKIP YOUR WI! That is the worse thing you can do. Weight loss is not linear. If you had a perfect week before your bad weekend, then that good week may just show up on the scales. Alternatively, you could get lucky and stay the same. Or the worse happens and you gain.
If you skip your WI, your bad weekend may still cause a gain the following week, no matter how good you are. This will only demotivate you and could lead to you giving up or going on a weeks binge. If you WI as normal, straight after your bad weekend, then if you are up you are up. You can draw a line under it and focus on losing for your next WI. At least then you do not have to fear your bad weekend catching up on you the following week and you will most likely see a loss.
Leaders are human themselves. They know that you have lives to live and that it is unrealistic to have constant losses week in week out. If you fear weighing in with your leader, if possible find another class. If you really do not want to WI then you can still attend your meeting, free of charge. I would definitely recommend attending as it will set you in the right frame of mind for a new week.

I have been gathering tips on how to limit the damage prior to a WI. These are not infallible and are not recommended by WW. They are just tips I have picked up from various sources.

1. Increase your exercise and water intake (obvious I know!)

2. Try a 5:2 day. I will do a blog about this in more detail at a later stage as I will be giving it a go next week. It involves eating 500 calories 2 days a week and normally for 5 days. If you are following WW, then on a normal day you would stick to your daily allowance. It could be an option to do a day or two before your WI if you have had a bad weekend.

3. Reduce your dailies to 26 propoints. If you are on 26 propoints, this is not an option for you as 26 is the minimum points that you can consume. If you are on a high number of points, I would not recommend dropping to 26 propoints. Instead you should cut your intake by about 4 propoints. It is important to note that this is not a sustainable plan and should only be used every so often. If you use this regularly, your weight loss will eventually plateau.

4. Low carb, high protein and veg meals. Consider having meals such as grilled chicken and roasted veg. Zero point soups can be a life saver in this situation as well.

5. Goes without saying but avoid all junk food, fizzy drinks etc until after your WI.

6. Technically on the ProPoints plan you cannot save your daily points and carry them over. However if you are really stuck then it is an option. At the end of the week you will still have consumed the same amount of points (calories) and this is what matters. It is not a sustainable plan and it is only recommended as a last resort.

7. Detox. There are all forms of detox methods out there. Some people say that detox is a myth, unnecessary and does not work. I personally have never done one so I cannot comment either way. Google is your best friend for information on detox diets. For a more simplified 'detoxing', hot water with lemon or green tea are said to be good aids.

8. Avoid salty foods and excess salt. Salt can lead to water retention which may be a factor in your result on the scale.

If you plan in advance and you are clever with your planning, then you should not find yourself fearing your next WI. If you do then you have to ask yourself the question, was it worth it? If the answer is yes, then smile at the memories and move on. Go and weigh in. Take whatever the scale says and look forward to your next WI. If the answer was no, it was not worth it, then you need to decide if the life you are currently living is more important than the life you want. If come Monday morning you are regretting the weekend you had, then you need to take measures to plan and be more careful with your food and alcohol intake.
Everyone's life is different. Our weight loss journey is personal to us. No-one can do it for us and no-one can make our decisions for us. I'll leave you with one of my favourite quotes, 'nothing tastes as good as skinny jeans feel' Jillian Michaels, The Biggest Loser US trainer.

Easter

It is that time of year again where crazy shoppers argue over who gets the last decent Easter egg. It can also be a parent's best worse nightmare, after Halloween and Christmas, where they get to eat their kids' left over eggs. Easter eggs are only the tip of the iceberg. If you have a traditional Irish mother then a lovely roast lamb dinner is on the menu for Sunday dinner. Dessert may consist of cakes and more chocolate. Lets not forget the copious amount of alcohol that will be consumed as well. See http://eabhabear.blogspot.ie/2013/03/alcohol-propoints.html for propoints for alcoholic drinks.

Now is the time to make the decision. Are you going be good or bad? If you want to take Sunday off, or the weekend, then there is nothing wrong with that. If you do decide to do this, then relax and enjoy the weekend. Do not feel guilty about the choices you make. Just make sure you get back on track first thing Monday morning. Most of us are off on Monday so use it wisely and go to for a run/walk or dust off the workout DVDs. No matter how much alcohol or food you consume, make sure you WEIGH IN next week. Your leader will only be expecting a few to see a loss on the scales next week and who knows you could be one of the lucky ones!

If you decide to be good, now is the time to start planning and preparing. Just because everyone else is drinking it does not mean you have to. A concept lost amongst us Irish! Decide now when you are going to drink and what you are going to drink. Put it into your tracker straight away.
Tomorrow is Good Friday. Even if you are not religious, it is a great excuse to incorporate fish into your diet (http://eabhabear.blogspot.ie/2013/03/happy-fish-day.html). It will set you in a healthy frame of mind for the weekend. If you have nothing planned for Saturday then stick to your daily allowance. Try to be as healthy as possible. Do not allow any Easter eggs or chocolates to be opened until Sunday.
Come Sunday, you should still have all or most your weeklies. If you think you are not likely to pick at Easter eggs or other foods, then allow yourself your own treat for whatever amount of points you have left. See below for a list of Easter treats.
If you are a picker then do not get your own treat as you will be more likely to go over points if you do. Make a note of EVERYTHING you put into your mouth that was not planned. Make an estimate at how many points every little bite is. Remember it is better to over-point than to under-point! Keep the list in your view during the day so that it easy to keep track and that when you reach your limit, you may just conjure enough willpower to stop. Even if you do not stop at your point allowance, at least you know exactly what you ate and you can look at cutting back during the week or increasing your exercise.

Whether you plan on being good or bad this weekend, everyone should try and limit the amount of food that enters your house. Do not buy treats for the possible guests you may have. You do not need desserts on top of eggs. Allow one or the other. Tell aunties, uncles, grandparents etc. not to buy your children Easter eggs. One egg is enough for anyone, young or old! Ask them to donate the money they would spend on the egg to a charity. If you are like me and your only source of an egg is from your mother (yes I am 23 but still a child at heart!), then tell her you do not want one. Or offer to halve one with someone. Remember the bars that come in the eggs are nothing special. You can go down to Centra and buy them anytime.
If you do end up with more than one egg in the house, give it away. Give it to a brother or boyfriend or husband. Bring it into work with you on Tuesday. Throw it in the bin. I used to buy junk food and then decide I am going to be good but only after I eat the junk food because I do not want to waste food or money. Your health and your weight loss journey are more important. Just before I sat down to write this blog, I poured a share bag of Malteasers into the outside bin. I got given them earlier as a gift on my sick bed. My usual garbage bin aka my brother was out, so I just got rid of temptation myself. Or, even better use the left over chocolate to make low point treats for yourself and the family.

Yes Easter, Christmas, Halloween only come around once a year. As does Paddys day, Mothers day, birthdays (your's, your partner's, your best friend's, your parents', your siblings', your children's), bank holidays, Christenings, weddings oh and of course Saturday nights! That is why it is important you take control. Decide which events you will be WW concious and which events you will allow yourself to relax. Easter is one day, so if you are good for the remaining six, there is no reason you cannot see a loss at your next WI.

So to help with your planning and to hopefully shock us into staying away from the goodies over the weekend, I have pointed all the Easter treats I could find information for. The nutritional information for a lot of Easter products is not easy to find. So I have sourced my information from various sites on Google. I cannot guarantee they are 100% correct but they will give you a good guideline. Do not forget to add extra propoints for the bars. The points below are for the eggs only. Most standard bars average 6-7 propoints while the mini bars average 2-3 propoints. Sweets such as Celebrations average 2 propoints per sweet. WARNING: do not forget to check for extra points when having more than one bar. You could find that one bar is only 5 but two 11. If you are lucky you could find you save a point!

Aero Mint Lamb 4pps per 27g
Cadbury Buttons Medium Egg 24pps per 162g
Cadbury Caramel Egg 5pps per 38g
Cadbury Caramel Bunny 6pps per 40g
Cadbury Creme Egg 5pps per 39g
Cadbury Crunchie Medium Egg 24pps per 167g
Cadbury Dairy Milk Large Egg 50pps per 343g
Cadbury Flake Medium Egg 22pps per 153g
Kinder Surprise Egg 3pps per 20g
Kit Kat Chunky Egg 34pps per 235g
Lindt Chocolate Mini Eggs 1pp per 5g (for 1)
Malteaster Bunny 4pps for 1, 9pp for 2
Milkybar Mini Eggs 7pps per 50g (half bag)
Cadburys Mini Eggs 0pp for 1, 1pp for 2
Cadburys Roses Large Egg 45pps per 307g
Smarties Small Egg 20pps per 138g
Smarties Mini Eggs 13pps per 100g
Cadburys Twirl Large Egg 47pps per 325g
Galaxy Medium Egg 24pps per 167g
Mars Medium Egg 29pps per 198g

Happy Fish Day

Good Friday is traditionally a fast day observed by Christians to commemorate the death of Jesus. Modern day Christians observe the day by abstaining from red meat. Even if you are not religious, Good Friday can be a great excuse to incorporate fish into your meals. Fish has so many health benefits. It is great for lowering your cholesterol and it is a good source of omega-3 and omega-6 fatty oils along with other minerals and vitamins.
Omega-3 fatty oils help lower the risk from heart disease, reduce stiffness and joint pain and reduce inflammation which is particularly helpful to asthmatics. Since I started taking fish oil tablets I have noticed an improvement in my concentration and my energy levels. While fish oil supplements are an option, why not go one better and have the fish itself. Fish is extremely tasty and there are so many different varieties that you will never get bored.

So which fish are the best for you? Some fish can be high in propoints due to the fat content. One thing to remember is this is healthy fat. Fish is so nutritious that you should not avoid it for the sake of a few extra points.

Tuna - high in protein, folic acid and omega-3 acids. Tuna in brine 1pp per 56g. Tuna steak 5pps per 140g.
Salmon - good for the heart and rich in omega-3 acids. Smoked salmon 2pps per 60g. Salmon fillet 6pps per 130g.
Oysters - rich in protein and omega-3 acids. With shells 1pp per 504g.
Sardines - low mercury levels. 4pps per 100g.
Trout - good for the heart and rich in omega-3 acids. Fillet 4pps per 115g. Rainbow trout 7pps per 230g.
Crab - low calories, good source of omega-3 acids and vitamins A, B and C. 2pps per 100g.
Crayfish - low calories, low in fat, high in protein (contains all nine essential amino acids), high in omega-3 and omega-6. 1pp per 85g.
Shrimp - rich in iodine, low in fat and low calories. 1pp per 60g.
Cod - good source of protein, vitamin B and low in calories. Smoked cod 2pps per 120g. Fillet 2pps per 90g.
Sea Bass - low in calories, high in omega-3 and omega-6 acids. Fillet 3pps per 101g.
Mackrel - good source of omega-3 and omega-6 acids, vitamin D and protein. Fillet 9pps per 150g.
Haddock - is a great started fish as it has a mild fish taste. Good source of protein, vitamin B, low in fat, low in calories. Fillet 2pps per 120g. Smoked Haddock 2pps per 120g. 
Plaice - low calorie, low fat, and high in protein. Fillet 3pps per 130g.
Sole - high in omega-3 acids, low in fat, high in vitamin B. Fillet 3pps per 163g.

*All propoints are for raw portions.

There are so many gorgeous fish recipes out there. If you are looking for ideas, have a look at this website http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/diets/healthy It has lots of healthy, delicious recipes. Remember you can tweak recipes to your liking and substitute ingredients for lower point alternatives.

Hangover Foods

Whether it is a long weekend or just an average Saturday night, alcohol and hangovers can be a Weight Watcher's worst nightmare. I have posted a blog with all the alcohol propoints so I decided to go one step further and point typical hangover foods. Most people reach for the greasy fry-up or Dominos pizza. With good planning, your hangover meal does not have to blow your points budget.

My favourite meal is Chicken Carbonara. I have loads of great homemade recipes but when I am hungover I just use the Dolmios Express Carbonara sauce which is 5pps per individual sachet.
I sautee an onion in a knob of flora light (1pp) and then add 100g lean chicken breast (3pps). Pour the sauce into the pan when the chicken is cooked and heat until piping hot. Boil 40g wholewheat pasta. To serve, sprinkle 30g of Superquinn Mozarella (2pps) on top to make a delicious dish for 14pps. This may seem like a lot but at the weekends I tend to only eat two meals because I get up later. If you have extra points to spare, I find adding lean rashers add to the flavour and increases your protein intake, all for an extra 2pps.

Dominos is the hangover food of choice for many of my friends. If they opened earlier on Sundays, I'm sure they would do great business! I have actually never been the biggest fan of Dominos and since seeing the points for them, I won't be any time soon. A personal pizza averages 15/16pps while a slice of a large pizza averages 5pps. If you would rather a store bought pizza, Ristorante Hawaii pizza is only 10pps for half a pizza or 21pps for the whole lot. You can bulk it up with lots of zero point salad or even roasted veg.

When people hear the word 'fry' they automatically think high cholesterol and greasy frying pans. You can have a healthy fry for half the points by simply substituting for lower pointed products and cooking differently. Grilling is the healthiest option but you should not shy away from frying in healthy oils. Extra virgin olive oil or coconut oils  I can be high in proportion to the amount used but they are healthy fats and can add taste to your cooking.

Here is a list of typical 'fry' foods with their propoints. Do not forget you have your 49 weeklies so do not be  afraid to dip into them.

Brennans Wholewheat Bread x2 4pps
Flora Light 10g 1pp
Ballyfree Turkey Sausages x2 4pps (grilled) or Superquinn Reduced Fat Sausages x2 5pps
Lean Bacon Medallions x2 3pps (grilled)
Grilled Tomato and Mushrooms 0pp
Scrambled Eggs (1 medium egg and 1 egg white) cooked in Extra Virgin Olive Oil 2pps for egg, 3pps for oil
Smoked Salmon 50g 2pps

As you can see, having a hangover meal does not mean you have to eliminate your entire weeklies. Planning is essential. If you know you are going out and you are prone to hangover cravings, then plan and point in advance. By doing this, you are more likely to stick to a healthier option.

P.S Do not forget...water, water and more water!

Alcohol ProPoints

I never used to point alcohol. One reason was because it would mean cutting back on food while another reason was I could never remember what I drank the next morning! I am now making a more conscious effort to plan in advance what I will drink. With the long weekend coming up, alcohol will probably be consumed at some stage in the form of after work drinks on Thursday, house party Friday, night club Saturday or wine at dinner on Sunday. Planning is essential which is why I have done up a list of popular drinks.

Bacardi Breezer:
Lemon 2pps for 100ml, 5pps for 275ml
Mango 2pps for 100ml, 3pps for 275ml
Orange 1pp for 100ml, 3pps for 275ml
Pineapple 1pp for 100ml, 3pps for 275ml

Baileys Cream 3pps fpr 35ml, 5 for 50ml
Bulmers Light 3pps for 330ml, 5pps for 500ml
Captain Morgans 6pps for 250ml

Coors Light:
3pps for half pint, 6pps for pint
4pps for 330ml, 6pps for 500ml

Corona Light 3pps for 355ml
Gin and Tonic 4pps for 250ml
Guinness (draught) 3pps for half pint, 7pps for pint
Heineken 5pps for 330ml, 7pps for 500ml
Jack and Coke 4pps for 200ml
Malibu 2pps for 35ml
Rum (40%) 3pps for 35ml
Smirnoff Ice 5pps for 275ml, 13pps for 700ml
Smithwicks 3pps for half pint, 7pps for pint
Vodka 3pps for 35ml
West Coast Cooler Original 5pps for 250ml
West Coast Cooler Rose 5pps for 250ml
WKD Blue 2pps for 100ml, 6pps for 275ml

Wine:
Red, Rose, White (sparkling or dry) 3pps for 125ml
Red, Rose, White (sparkling or dry) 4pps for 175ml
Red, Rose, White (sparkling or dry) 6pps for 250ml
Red, Rose (sparkling or dry) 19pps for 750ml
White (sparkling or dry) 18pps for 750ml

Cocktails:
Bloody Mary 4pps for 250ml
Sex on the Beach 8pps for 200ml
Strawberry Daiquiri 4pps for 190ml
Pina Colada 6pps for 150ml
Cosmo 6pps for 150ml
French Martini 6pps
Margarita 6pps for 250ml
Screwdriver 5pps for 150ml
Long Island Ice Tea 7pps for 180ml
White Russian 7pps for 200ml
Frozen Mudslide 11pps for 360ml
Mai Tai 10pps for 320ml
Manhattan 8pps for 130ml
Mojito 6pps for 250ml

My Goals

After I had a big gain due to medication, I decided to rejoin yet again. I decided to put aside my fear and go back to my original meeting where I originally lost the weight. I love the leader and she always takes a keen interest in my weight loss. In the interest of starting a fresh I have redone my mini goals. If I reach my weekly target, I am going to put €3 towards a goal kitty and if I reach my monthly target I will put €20 into the kitty. Hopefully if when I reach goal, I will have a nice fund to go and buy all the gorgeous clothes I dream of!

Starting Weight: 14st 4.5lbs
1. Back in the 13's - 13st 13.5lbs - 24th April
2. 1st Silver Seven - 13st 11.5lbs - 8th May
3. 5% - 13st 8lbs -
4. 1st Stone - 13st 4.5lbs -
5. Obese to Overweight BMI - 13st 3lbs (BMI30) -
6. Into 12's - 12st 13.5lbs -
7. 10% - 12st 12lbs -
8. 3rd Silver Seven - 12st 11.5lbs -
9. 2nd Stone - 12st 4.5lbs -
10. 5th Silver Seven - 11st 11.5lbs -
11. 3rd Stone - 11st 4.5lbs -
12. Healthy BMI - 11st 0.5lbs -
13. 7th Silver Seven - 10st 11.5lbs
14. 50lbs - 10st 10.5lbs -
15. 4th Stone & GOAL - 10st 4.5lbs

For the first time in a long time I am excited about WW. This is a great way to know if you are in the right frame of mind. You need to look forward to every WI and hate when your meeting is over and you have a whole week to wait. My leader set me a goal of 21lbs by summer. 2.5lbs down 18.5lbs to go!

Edit 10/04/2013:
I reset my goals as I rejoined a new meeting. I know yet again but it felt like something I needed to do. This time is with my original leader. I realise now it was a mistake to not go back to her when I put the weight back on. I guess I was too embarrassed. Lesson learned and I am looking forward to the future.

My Weight Loss Journey

Hi, my name is Éabha and I thought I would start a blog to document my weight loss journey. I am 23 years old and like most young women I have the same self-images that come with today’s society. This is more for me, kind of like a diary, but I hope that I can help and encourage others. 

My journey is has not been an easy one. I started to gain weight in school, around 3rd/4th year. I used to be very sporty, training nearly everyday, sometimes twice a day. I went from being very active to plonking myself in front of the TV. Added to that I started eating 4/5 bars of chocolate a day. Not to mention pizzas and take-away at the weekend. I was unhappy with my life. I did not have many friends in school. Making friends was a difficult thing for me. When most people my age were out at the cinema on a Friday evening, I was at home eating and watching TV. I thought this was going to be my future. 

During 5th/6th year my life began to change. I began to make friends in school and I started to go out with these friends at weekends. The only problem was my bad habits had already cemented themselves in my life. So while I sorted out the social aspect of my life, I still gained weight. Every weekend we went out and I always dreaded having to decide what to wear. I wore jeans and baggy tops. Anyone who has been overweight can probably relate to this. I was jealous of the girls wearing pretty dresses. Every night in the night club I would make a vow to start a diet the next day. Of course that never happened. All my friends looked stunning and loved going out and chatting to boys. I used the excuse of just loving being with the girls to avoid the boy issue. The truth was I was too insecure to go near a guy and I believed I guy would never want me as I was too fat. 

Then came the dreaded leaving cert and along with it my heaviest weight. I peaked the scales at 15 stone. I started to get stretch marks on my stomach, big horrible purple ones. I remember being terrified of them as I did not know what they were. I had to google to find out what they were. Needless to say I was mortified when I found out the truth. 

My debs was looming and I was dreading having to go dress shopping. I did not believe that any shop would have a dress that would fit me so I looked into having a dress made. It cost a fortune but I thought it was my only choice. I wanted to look good on the night so I started an exercise regime. I started going for walks with my friend. A big achievement was that I started going swimming. This was a huge deal for me as anyone who has been overweight will know the fear of wearing a swimming suit! This all may sound like I'm making positive changes but my diet was still the same. Also being honest the exercise was not intense and certainly not intense enough to lose weight.

Debs came and went. I started college being the fattest in the class. I hated going shopping. I wore the same clothes all the time (well the same type of clothes!). 

I then went through the stage of crash diets. I even tried celebrity slim. Let’s just say that was a big mistake both financially and health wise. Of course it was never going to work, I was eating chemicals!

It got worse than Celebrity Slim. I went to the doctor and asked him to put me on glucophage tablets. I had heard that they can help you lose weight. They are primarily a diabetes tablet and certainly not an approved weight loss tablet. I was shocked that the doctor agreed to prescribe them to me. I lost half a stone on them. Was it worth it? Yes and no. I lost my first half a stone on them. However I felt weak. I felt dizzy. I even fainted while out for a walk with a friend. Granted it was a longer walk than normal but still. I was so embarrassed. She offered to bring me home but I already felt bad about what had happened that I walked home myself. Needless to say I came off them there and then. Never again!

While I did not hate my life, I was not completely happy. Proper change needed to happen but for some reason I could not make myself do this. Yet another shopping trip came with being frustrated and in near tears. I remember coming home from the shopping centre, stopping off at the shop for junk and thinking to myself I need to do something. I thought of joining weight watchers (WW). You are probably not going to believe what happened next but I went to work that night and a colleague said she joined WW last week and that I should come with her. Most people may take offense at being asked to join a weight loss class but for me it was such a huge relief. It was what I needed to gain control of my life back.

So that Wednesday down I went. I was terrified as I thought I would be weighed in, in front of everyone. Of course that is not how it works and to make matters even better the leader could not have been nicer. She understood that I was a young student and that I still had a life to live. She told me to focus on my weight loss over a four week period rather than on a week to week basis.

Joining WW was the best decision I ever made. It changed my life. I started to become more confident in myself. I could finally wear dresses and nice clothes. I LOVED going shopping now. People were paying me compliments and it felt great. I started to be more confident around boys. I was gaining my life back. I was doing really well in college. I had a great group of friends.

For a person trying to lose weight, the worse happened. I hit the dreaded plateau. My lowest was 11st 9.5lbs. I started to gain and lose the same few lbs over and over again. I was always around 11st 11lbs. I made the decision to stop going to WW. It was a waste of money as I was not losing any more. Later you will find out why this was a big mistake. I stayed in and around this weight reaching about 12st 2lbs at one point.

I was going on holidays with college friends. This meant bikinis! I wanted to lose the rest of the weight but the scales would not move. I was exercising rigorously doing work out DVDs at least once a day, sometimes twice or three times. I was losing inches. On one count I had lost 16 inches in about eight weeks. I was confident enough to wear a bikini well at least the top part. I still wore shorts on bottom as I wasn’t confident with my bum. This was a huge achievement for me as I never thought I would get to this point. Not only did I get to wear a bikini, I also wore shorts for the first time since I gained the weight and I wore dresses without tights. This was a big deal for me as I never wore a dress without tights. In case you haven’t guessed it yet, my legs are my worse feature. I would have what I describe tree trunk thighs full of cellulite. I remember that first night on holidays. I was so scared leaving my room with no tights. The girls were so encouraging but I still had to face the lads. I walked into the room and of course no-one even looked at me or cared. I mean they did not give my legs a second thought, not that they did not care about me! That was what I needed to just relax and enjoy my holiday.

So where did it all go wrong?

I came home from holidays and the first thing I did was head straight to the shop and I brought a box of Pringles, a big bag of Malteasers and Minstrels. I came home and binged. Why? I think it was because I felt I had deprived myself prior to the holiday. This was my post holiday treat. The funny thing is I had eaten badly while on holiday. Not to mention the alcohol. All of this and I only gained HALF A POUND after my holiday. Why I felt the need for that post-holiday binge I will never know.

Of course one binge led to another and another and another. I slowly started to put the weight back on. Actually that is a lie. I quickly put the weight back on. I became uncomfortable in my clothes. I went to London a few weeks after my sun holiday and I look back at those photos and cringe. A dress I wore on my sun holiday only a few weeks earlier looked terrible on me. It didn’t fit me anymore. I did not wear tights in London but I should have. My legs looked awful even though they looked fine when I was on holidays. I was disgusted with myself. Did I make a change? Of course not. I continued to sabotage my hard work. I felt ashamed of my weight. All my gorgeous clothes I had bought no longer fitted. I went back to wearing the same clothes all the time. Yet I was still binging.

I was eating pizza, McDonalds, share size bags of Malteasers, Minstrels and Haribo. I was gorging on 4 Mars bars and 4 cup cakes. This could all be within one sitting. I was literally a pig.

I remember vaguely discussing my weight gain with my Mum and my younger brother and I asked them did it look like I had gained weight. Their answer was yes. I was not sure what I expected them to answer but it still hurt. They were not being mean but honest. They know about my weight struggles and are really supportive of me losing it. However their answer still did not make me stop eating. All this time I was still attempting to follow WW. It could go one perfect week followed by one bad week. Or a perfect day followed by a bad evening. Either was I was doing it half arsed and not going anywhere.

Before I started college, I turned to a friend and said I will lose the weight before I start. I now found myself saying that I will lose the weight before I start work. I bought loads of clothes for starting work. As I write this, I still have not worn some of those gorgeous clothes as they do not fit. I am short on work clothes as only some of them fit comfortably. I feel like I am wearing the same clothes over and over. I am longing for the day that I can wear them all proudly.

Christmas 2012 was coming up, nearly 2 and half years after I joined WW for the first time. I had attempted to do WW at home but to no avail. Ironically the reason I said I would not rejoin was because of the money but yet I was spending a fortune on junk food. Two weeks before Christmas I made the decision to rejoin. You must think I was mad but it made sense in my head. If I started now I could control myself over the holidays. My first Christmas doing WW, in 2010, I lost 5lbs at the first WI back after Christmas. I wanted to repeat that. Of course things never go to plan and instead I gained 3.5lbs. Not too bad considering. One cause of this was alcohol. I was out a lot and I was then having hung-over binges. I needed to limit the alcohol intake.

Turns out that was the least of my worries. I could not get back into WW mode after Christmas. I was bingeing again. Miraculously I still lost. It was small losses but over 4 weeks I regularly lost weight. Then came a particularly bad binge week which was so bad I decided I could not face my WI. I put it behind me and I went on to have a perfect week. I started exercising again and I was tracking and pointing. I am not sure what I was expecting at the next WI, perhaps a stay the same, but I gained one and a half pounds. I felt embarrassed, upset and just really down. I had had a perfect week and this was the result? It didn’t make sense to me. Of course, though, it was the right result. It was the weeks of bingeing catching up with me. It is exactly what I deserved. It was also the wake-up call I needed. Or so I thought. That evening after my WI I binged. The next day I binged. Thursday came and the same thing. Friday I was still bingeing. I was a mess.

I was not happy with my leader. While she was lovely and very motivating, her meetings were not the best. She tends to go ramble on about irrelevant stuff and always rushed the important things. I was recommended another leader and I made the decision to switch. When I switched, I also rejoined with a brand new card. When I had rejoined before, I used my old card and as a result my starting weight was my original weight. This was very annoying and de-motivating when it came to setting goals. With a new leader and a fresh card, I felt like I was heading in the right direction. I love my new leader. Her meetings are really informative and I always leave in a great mood. She mentioned in one meeting about people being stuck in a rut. She talked about how you could attend a meeting for months and either lose slowly, stay the same or yoyo. She said there was nothing wrong with this as it is better than gaining. Eventually one day the switch will go on in your head. This happened to me last Saturday. I realised the reason I was struggling was because I was depressed about my weight gain. I was letting it control my life. I was stressed about going out and what I would wear that I would end up not going out. Instead I would stay at home and binge. I realised that I have to accept that I have regained the weight. I need to find clothes that fit me properly. I need to take it each week at a time. I have to forget about trying to lose the weight for certain events as it is unrealistic and it is only causing me to fall off track.

My good intentions ended up getting derailed today after a visit to the doctors. However my reaction to it was completely different to what it could have been last week. Yes I slipped up. I did not get depressed over it. Instead I went a made a gorgeous homemade soup and I went to the shop to get supplies for the rest of the week. I have my third WI on Thursday since rejoining. So far I am down 2lbs. 2lbs in two WIs is not bad. I would like to have lost more but after Paddy’s weekend I will take it. This week I have not decided if I am going to WI due to the antibiotics. I will still go to my meeting though. My leader mentioned last week that if we do not feel in a good place to WI then we should still go to the meeting. It does not cost anything and it will help you get in the right frame of mind. I feel this is important as if you do not go to a meeting it can lead to a second bad week.

I am feeling much more positive. I know I can do this if I take it slowly. Here is to 2013 and the year of finally getting the weight off!