Uh Oh!

My well intended plans for this weekend were thrown out the window by Friday night. Thursday's, Friday's and Saturday's binges were unnecessary and more so boredom eating. Yesterday was a more relaxing, enjoyable day with family so I do not feel too guilty. I had a Galaxy egg and then my Mum's home cooked lamb roast dinner with all the trimmings. It was delicious and I have discovered a new favourite, Colcannon mash! It was gorgeous and I am not even a fan of cabbage. My Mum made it with kale.
This morning I woke up feeling bloated and guilty after my gluttonous weekend. My TOTM is due so that is not helping. I am doing a 5:2 day today to help with the bloating.

Today is the 1st of April, exactly three months until I go on holidays. 21 lbs is reasonable by then right? I was doing some browsing this morning and I came across a thread on weightwatchers.com, titled 'Binge Enders Challenge'. It is based on the theory that it take 21 days to break habits and form new ones. My challenge for the month of April is to eliminate binges. I am going to start by not planning any treats but if during the day I crave then I will allow myself a treat that is tracked and pointed for. I think it is going to be a trial and error challenge. I need to start recording triggers. One trigger I have noticed is when I am alone, I get bored or I feel sorry for myself so I head to the shop. I am going to take it a day at a time. I am also going to stop fretting about my weekly WIs and focus on the overall results every month.
It is 13 weeks until 1st July so that is an average of a 1.5 lb loss a week. I need to rein in the binging in order to achieve this. I seem to be a broken record on this issue but I think it is better to keep trying than to give up altogether.

I am also going to start a fitness challenge this month. I am a big fan of Jillian Michaels DVDs. I know they have worked for me before so I just need to get up and actually do the workouts. I already have her 30 Day Shred, Ripped in 30 and Killer Buns and Thighs DVD. .I ordered this boxset http://www.amazon.co.uk/Jillian-Michaels-The-Collection-DVD/dp/B005ZCAZIK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1364820212&sr=8-1 last night. My plan is to start with the 30 Day Shred today and do it alongside Banish Fat Boost Metabolism and No More Trouble Zones. I will do a separate post where you can follow my fitness challenge.

While I was browsing, I also came across a post on another blog, The Nip Tuck Food Blog, that mentioned a few things that hit home with me. The first was about eating foods that you like and are healthy in a general sense and not just because they are low in propoints. I have been trying to do this over the past few weeks and I have discovered some amazing foods. My favourite is a home made steak sandwich or poached egg and smoked salmon. By reducing the amount of junk you eat and by focusing more on healthy meals and not stressing too much over points, you can discover some amazing recipes and you are less likely to get bored. I cannot wait to have Colcannon mash again but with bacon this time. I have also found that while I cooked nice meals before, my portion sizes are tiny because I am restricted by points either due to junk food or empty low pointed foods. So I am going to focus on eating more healthier and balanced meals and not going hungry.

Another thing that I could relate to from Nip Tucks post, was about friends and being 'the fat one'. The majority of my friends are extremely supportive of my weight loss journey. If I decide not to drink on a night out, they know why and do not question it. They do not see me as being fat, they see me for me. There is however one friend who is very skinny herself and is constantly going on about how fat she is. It really annoys me and she will keep saying it until I say something like 'obviously your legs are not fat, they are slimmer than my arms'. Awful I know but it is the only thing that will make her stop and every time I come away feeling bad about my weight. Now it is not just me she does this to and I do understand that weight is relative. However she acts like a teenager and does it for attention and for the comments. I have talked to some of my friends about it. I have decided that I am not going to talk about weight with her anymore. I am just going to ignore her or change the subject. This may seem harsh but I need to put myself first in this situation.

That was a bit of an Easter Monday rant but I am glad I got it off my chest. After all, that is why I am doing this blog, to document my journey and feelings. 21 lbs to summer....here it goes!!